Nervous

Well the anxiety has definitely set in. I had a really pleasant first weekend after learning about my pregnancy, and then, BAM, last Monday it hit me! We're really going to have a BABY!?!?! I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and just be excited and nervous, but I'm finding it hard not to feel just plain nervous at times. I've told my sister and my good friend, and of course they are so excited. But I'm not sure they understand how apprehensive I feel. It's all so overwhleming. Does everyone feel this way? I think the answer is mostly, YES, but I'm harder on myself for being anxious because I've had an anxiety disorder for so long. I just want to feel totally great about this one thing. And that's impossible. But, I do think that's normal. How can you not feel unsure with something so HUGE.

So I'm trying to remind myself to take it a week at a time, and really, it's only been like ten days since we found out. It's going to take some time to absorb it all.

In the meantime, I'm getting used to my new preggers diet. No deli (which totally sucks - all I want is a turkey sandwich sometimes!), no sushi, no alcohol, and (for me) less caffeine. I'm not giving up my morning coffee altogether, just modifying with a cup of half-caff. That seems to do the trick. Also, I've been relitively symptom-free (I hestitate to say, since I'm sure I'm dooming myself right now). My boobs are sore and definitely growing, which is not so bad for flat-chested gal. And I've had tons of lower-digestional issues, but still relatively manageable. Tomorrow, I have my appointment with the OB nurse, to get blood drawn and do the whole what-to-expect schpeel. And then I have my first doctor appointment (and U/S!) on 9/25, where they should be able to see a heartbeat. Crazy!

Right now, I feel pretty good actually. Not too nervous, pretty excited also. That's a good feeling!