O or No?

I think I might be slightly obsessed with this whole pregnancy thing. Oh, how far I've come! Early in the year, when I first went off BC, I was telling myself, "We'll just see what happens...not try, not prevent." I was really against "trying" because to me it seemed so unspontaneous, and I didn't want baby-making to become a chore. Also, I know my personality type is one that can easily become obsessive. Fast forward to now...and that's exactly where we are!

In some ways it's good. I've learned a lot about fertility from other's blogs and from my daily visits to Fertility Friend. But perhaps it's consuming me a bit. Six months ago, I insisted that I didn't want to use OPKs, let alone start checking my BBT. Now, having peed on so many O test sticks, I wonder what happened.

I haven't gone so far as to chart my BBT, but I never even knew what cervical mucus was in January, and if you had asked me then, I would have assumed it was related to an STD. But, all the same, I've learned and now I'm checking that daily. I have to say, I know all the signs of ovulation are there, but why oh why do they have to be so subjective? Like, you look at those damn ovulation tests and you're supposed to be able to interpret the f-ing line. Is darker than the control line? What if it's only dark on one side? I'd get those digital ones, but they're so damn expensive. If I had been buying those all along, we'd have no money left by now to actually raise a child. And the whole CM thing is just as bad. Sticky? Creamy? Egg White? All I know is that I'm spending way too much time looking at fluid excreted from my body.

Men have it so easy...